how to quit online gaming with zero self-control
or at least to minimize it 🤷♂️
I once was an avid online gamer. If you consider the "10,000 hours” as the expert threshold, I was one-third of an expert in Dota 2, and that was just one game. But that was in my teenage years. Ever since college and now that I work full-time and live in NYC, I have very little time for gaming. And yet, I found myself caught in an unhealthy habit loop, which goes like this:
I start craving gaming because my brain thinks it's going to be fun, and it sugarcoats it with phrases like, “c’mon, we haven't played for a while, and you've been working so hard lately, plus, it's a rainy day, what’ya gonna do anyway?”
I try to resist the urge because I know I'll probably regret it, but after a few hours or days, the craving prevails, and I find myself getting frustrated with my teammates at 3 a.m.
Next, I guilt-trip myself and tell myself how it was a terrible idea, how I could have been spending time with friends, reading books, learning the piano, and doing all the other things that would make me feel productive and good about myself.
Filled with determination to change my life, I decide not to game for the next few months, I delete the game, and finally go to sleep.
After a few weeks, my brain starts the merry-go-round, and we repeat the Danse Macabre.
Sound familiar? If you don't game or have a healthy relationship with gaming, I genuinely envy you. But for the rest of you fellow addicts, here's how I minimized my gaming time with zero self-control: I transferred my Steam account to my best friend's email address. The point is that after every gaming session, I delete the game and Steam from my computer. The next time I want to play, I have to install Steam and log in to my account, and to do that, I need the access code which is now being sent to my friend's email. The main piece of the puzzle is that after every rage-quit gaming session, I ask my friend not to give me access codes until a certain date, say, 3 months from today, and I pin the message in our chat in case he develops dementia.
This method works because I do not rely on self-control. No matter how much my brain tries to convince me to game, there's just nothing I can do on my side. My Steam account is in my friend's hands, and I can't access it until that date. I could, of course, create a new Steam account, but that requires me to create a new email address, buy the game if it's not free, and the worst part is that all my configurations will be reset, and I'll probably have to go through a few hours of training or playing with bots, and it's just not worth it for me.
This method of eliminating habits uses the idea of 'friction.' If you want to build new habits, reduce the friction; if you want to eliminate bad habits, create as much friction as possible. In this case, the friction of starting my gaming account from scratch or blackmailing my friend to give me access codes is way too high. It's just easier to wait until that date to play again.
Not ready to give your gaming account to someone else? There are other ways to reduce friction. Something else I tried was deleting Steam and blocking the download domain at the system level. The next time I want to game, I have to go through the tedious process of unblocking the domain, which I wouldn't always want to do. Ultimately, if you really want to quit, delete your gaming account. I know it sounds like climbing Everest, so to reduce the friction, you could ask that same friend to delete it for you or to sell it on your behalf :)
This method was helpful for me because I no longer have to fight my brain over whether I should play or not - I outsourced self-control. So go add some friction to your bad habits! I hope this helps you too, and if not, then I'll see you on the mid lane on January 31, 2024 - the date when my friend can give me the access code again 😉
P.S. Don’t trust your friends? Sign up for a waitlist of Habit Hostage - an app that would keep your gaming/streaming/dating app accounts hostage until a specified date to help you eliminate bad habits :)